Sunday, January 18, 2009

Happy Birthday, Mom

Little T and I made a trip to the cemetary today in this bone-chilling cold. Yesterday would have been my mom's 86th birthday. She's been gone for almost 12 years now, and I still really miss her. We took her some purple tulips; purple was her favorite color and she liked any flower except for carnations because they reminded her of death. You see, she was raised in the Depression and carnations were cheap funeral flowers, a sickly-sweet smell she always remembered with distaste.

She always took care of and spoiled me, right up until she passed from pancreatic cancer. I was too young at 32 to fully appreciate her when she died. I was still a selfish daughter busy with three young kiddos, many times viewing her phone calls and requests for visits (she lived about 45 minutes away) as an interruption, instead of being a grateful daughter who appreciated having her around. I remember that we only had six weeks from her initial diagnosis to her death and we spent about half that time trying to confirm the truth we didn't want to believe.

She and dad adopted me when they were older, just a few years younger than I am now actually which is a little sobering, and she always hated it when people asked her if she was my grandmother. Same when they "got me a baby brother" a few years later. She doted on us the ways she knew how and would have done anything for us. I really miss having that kind of unconditional love in my life.

But then I remember I still do. Jesus doesn't care when I've done or not done, where I came from or where I live, He loves me no matter what. He loves you too. Remember that when you need a little love in your life.

Happy Birthday Mom.
-Shawnee

5 comments:

lauriec said...

I'm not a carnation fan either. You still have that kind of love in your life & your mom is still with you. {{hugs}}

Cherry's Jubilee said...

sooo sorry about your Mom...I am sure she was a very special person! I came by to say thanks for stoopping by and saying hi! Always fun to meet another Oregonian too. cherry

Yarni Gras! said...

Your words are so lovely Shawnee. I
envy the relationship you and your mother had and continue to have. The love you obviously have for her is moving and wonderful.
You are right too, Jesus loves us unconditionally too. Happy Birthday to your sweet mom.

Jen Sue Wild said...

What a lovely trbute to your mother.

Lucy said...

I hear ya! I am coming up on one year for my dad on Sunday and I can't believe it. I was in the middle of my first hairy swap then. :o)

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